nut hugger
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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