I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize