I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you never un-have a 4some
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
