I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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