your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
