I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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