dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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