Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
babies were throwing up all over the place
false alarm. still invincible.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
