its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
