awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
