I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
