You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
