Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
