I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
