You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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