My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
