you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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