Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
