So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
