i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
