I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize