i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
