Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So squirting runs in the family.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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