I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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