Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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