I got chris browned last night
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Randomize
