He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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