I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
