My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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