Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize