His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
