i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
