I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
