you guys were way drunker than both of me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
