just survived the first fart of the relationship.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
