I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
