no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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