Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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