Porn is love you can see.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
