he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize