I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
