Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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