id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
