She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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