When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize