we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
