i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you traded sex for a burrito?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
