i jhust puked up my retainher.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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