My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm bleeding and have questions
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
