I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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