cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
