just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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