Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
