Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize